Somewhere, a village is missing an idiot

Now that the United States soccer team has been unceremoniously booted from World Cup play and all these third world countries are gloating saying how we* suck, "go home" and all that trash, I say, let's play the ultimate sport. Yeah, it's called WAR. Stupid bitches.
Ooooh, how jingoistic of me! I love living in the greatest country in the world.
I enjoy World Cup soccer with all the national teams pitted against each other.
I enjoy watching my kids play soccer.
I enjoy watching great individual players, i.e. Ronaldinho. That dude is off the hook! Go check out youtube.com and check out any number of videos on this guy.
Why is it then that I dont' get off on soccer any other time?
You know what America needs? The Great American Soccer Hope; a Michael Jordan-like figure who can transcend the Big Three: Football, Baseball, Basketball. A guy who will take us deep into the World Cup tourney.
Alas, until the U.S. actually does make some headway into the tourney, such a mythical figure will never exist. This mythical figure will just matriculate into the Big Three and become Jerry Rice, Dwayne Wade or Alex Rodriguez.
Until then, see you in 2010.